The Home Stretch

Hard to believe that one week from today we'll be going home to England to see Jay!  Considering we've been apart nearly 20 weeks, that's quite a feat!  As the saying goes, the days were long but the weeks were short.  Especially once summer hit, time seemed to fly by.



Though we're nearing the finish line, this chapter of our lives has definitely not been an easy one.  I can say with certainty that moving in with my parents was the best decision for me and the girls.  I was worried about uprooting the girls from their new house and school wouldn't be a good move, but it's been so lovely having my mom and dad as extra sets of hands with the girls and company for me in the evenings.  I don't know that I'll ever be able to fully express my gratitude to them.  Though I know they've loved all this extra time with their granddaughters, it can't have been easy to welcome two toddlers into their lives full time for this long!  Simple things like having my mom taking care of the laundry and dinner, and being an extra pair of hands at bath and bed time.  Having my dad keep an eye on one of the girls while I was helping the other.  Putting gas in the car, folding my clothes, doing the grocery shopping. The list goes on.  All these things they took off my plate made this time so much easier than it would have been if I was truly on my own.  And then there's the added bonus of having them join us on adventures, and make going out to dinner much more manageable.

The Emilio-Clarkes twinning for 4th of July

Finding a school for the girls to spend a couple mornings a week at was really helpful as well.  They needed the company of other kids, a break from me, the continuity of going to school, and new, stimulating activities.  And honestly, I needed a bit of alone time to get work done, go shopping, and clear my head.  It also really helped to give us a sense of schedule in our week which made the time go by faster.  After the first school I lined up before coming over fell through, I had to scramble but it all worked out for the best as the school I found was a great fit for the girls.  It is family-oriented, flexible and most importantly, the staff is amazing with the girls.  They started in mid-May and within a couple weeks Ceci was running in without so much as a good-bye.  Cali consistently struggled with drop-off, but the staff (and Ceci) assured me she played happily within minutes of me leaving.  Though the girls were in separate "families" at school (they use color families for age groups), Ceci and Cali's groups spent good portions of the day together, and the staff was very accommodating if one was upset and wanted to go see the other.  If Cali was sad, Ceci would often go and sit next to her to make sure she was OK - she's such a good big sister.  They also took lots of pictures of the girls and uploaded them to an app I could access in real time, which was great for my peace of mind, especially after tough drop-offs with Cali.

Cali wasn't happy so Ceci set up shop next to her.

Play doh!

Whee!

Always. Climbing.

Painting buddies

Driving

Even with all of this help, though, these 5 months have been extremely difficult.  I'd be lying if I said there weren't times I thought I wasn't going to make it - when the end of August felt like it might as well be years away.  Tearful phone calls with Jay.  Nights falling into bed thinking there was no way I could do it again the next day.  Losing patience with the girls way more that I would like.  More than anything, though, this time away from Jamie has made me realize just how much I appreciate him.  I so miss having a partner, especially with the girls.  It is exhausting not having someone who's ready to tag you out at any moment, without having to ask and without any guilt.  I'm officially in awe of single moms - I honestly can't imagine having to do this indefinitely.

Though it didn't make it any easier, I knew this experience would be physically exhausting. What I didn't anticipate is the additional emotional toll that taking care of Ceci's emotional needs would take.  I knew she would miss her daddy, but I didn't fully comprehend how hard that would be to deal with.  Watching her struggle, and knowing I couldn't fix it for her, was really difficult.  I gave her coping strategies, we videoed with Jay almost daily, we wrote letters and sent drawings, etc.  But there were days when she would be moody and difficult and then eventually would break down in tears and say "I just really miss my daddy".  It was hard to hold it together in those moments.

Through all of this though, the girls have thrived.  Over the past 5 months, they have grown so much!  Ceci seems to be growing taller by the day (I officially started buying her clothes in the girls section, rather than toddler - she's wearing girls XS/4-5 instead of 4T or 5T.  And she's grown 3 shoe sizes! I just can't even).  She has her own opinions, favorites and ideas that seem so grown up all of the sudden.  She's grown into a confident swimmer (with a flotation aid), a fantastic big sister and just an overall fun and sweet kid.  Favorites right now are running, climbing, the beach, the pool, making new friends, Trolls, Sing, singing in the car, her cousins, nail polish and lip gloss.

Cali's communication is absolutely exploding.  It seems like she says several new words a day.  She speaks in little sentences: "Mumma sit, sit", "No, Ceci, mine", "I sip too", etc.  She still signs some, and also points and gestures to make sure she gets her point across.  There are quite a few meltdowns when she can't get us to understand (or we do but say no), but for the most part she's really persistent and just keeps trying until we get it.  She loves naming everything she sees.  "Chocolate!", "Dog!", "Flower!", "Peppa Pig!", "Monkey!".  It's so cute.  Instead of yes she's started saying "Uh-huh!" which is pretty adorable.  And her no is so short and sweet (unless she's mad, and then it's extremely loud and fierce).  Like her sister, she also loves singing along to everything - that's just started to blossom recently.  She's also so physically capable - she runs, climbs, scoots on ride-ons, etc with ease.  She's SO strong, fiercely independent and cautiously fearless.  She can climb ladders, go down the slide, walk up and down stairs, and basically get wherever she wants to go, all by herself.

Always. Climbing.

In addition to having my parents here to help us, it's also been amazing to have so much family close by.  The girls have had a fun packed summer filled with cousins, adventures, sunshine, love and laughter.    Here are just a few highlights...

Kids Fest with Gramps

Cousin Jeremy's Senior Night volleyball game with Great Nana

Cheering on Jeremy at his Senior Night - Ceci got really into it!

Ceci's first roller coaster ride!

Loving on baby Jakey-Joe

Big Girl Slide! 

Fun with Cousins

Sister Love.

Enjoying the community piano

Washing the car with Nan

Jumping

Lots of backyard fun.

Arcade with Gramps

The Beach!

Chuck E. Cheese

Big girl swimming on her own!

Ceci LOVED the swimming pool

First movie theater experience

More backyard fun - a standard afternoon activity

Backyard picnic

We survived a 6 hour road trip for more cousin time!

Enjoying a story with Luke

Make-up with Auntie Catie O

This girl LOVES sand.

More beach time 

One of the big girls!

Cousin Love.

Watering flowers with Gramps

Ride-ons

Running!

Always. Climbing.

Now we have the hurdle of a 6 hour flight solo flight with two toddlers (again), but we're all SO excited to see Jay.  We get a whole week with him before he has to go back - hopefully enough time to get the girls settled back into our house and their school.  Then less than 3 weeks without him again will be tough, but short enough to feel very doable.

I'm ready to put this chapter behind us, but now that's it's nearly over I can say I'm grateful for it.  It's given me more confidence in doing things on my own.  It's made me really, really appreciate Jay.  It's made me so grateful for my family, especially my parents.  It's given me countless memories with them and my girls that I will always cherish - as hard as it's been, this has been a really lovely American summer.