Our Nap Journey

Our napping situation with Ceci has been anything but simple.  Now that we've finally gotten Ceci to nap in her crib, I wanted to document the journey for myself lest I ever think it just happened on its own or didn't take that long or I can't remember exactly how it all transpired!  And who knows, maybe someone else out there is looking for an 8-step, 7 month long plan to get their baby napping in their crib! Haha.

When we first brought Ceci home, she'd fall asleep in our arms and we'd put her down in her little Sleepyhead bed and she'd blissfully sleep for a while.  I don't think she ever fell asleep on her own in there, or anywhere else for that matter - she was far too curious about her surroundings - but we could transfer her easily once she was asleep (usually after eating - nothing beats a milk coma).

Those were the days!

From the time she was about 2 weeks old, Ceci starting waking within 10-20 minutes whenever we put her down.  If we kept holding her she'd sleep for 2 hours. We kept trying, and sometimes it would work, but as time went on it worked less and less and for shorter and shorter amounts of time.  She was so small and peaceful and I was available, so I held her.  And that was that.

Sometimes she'd sleep like this...

...but mostly it was like this...

...and this...

...I think this only happened twice...ever.

After a few weeks I discovered the joys of baby wearing.  I had gotten a sling second hand before Ceci was born. It turned out Ceci loved to sleep in it and I got to have my hands (more or less) free.  Win!  Ceci enjoyed her sling naps so much I invested in a stretchy wrap which was even more comfortable for me and truly allowed me to have both hands free.  And for a few months this was our routine.  After being awake for an hour into the wrap or sling Ceci would go, she'd drift peacefully off to sleep for 1-2hrs and I'd have my hands free to watch TV, snack, do light housework, etc.  It also worked great at the store, at church, out to lunch, really anywhere.  Bliss.  I would still occasionally attempt to get Ceci down in her cradle in our room or in her Sleepyhead in the living room (or in the car or in her stroller) but it never worked.  She'd just get hysterical or simply think it was time to wake up.  Even if I got her nice and soundly asleep as soon as I'd put her down her little eyes would pop open as if to say "oh hey mom, what are we doing?".  My little nosy girl just couldn't bear missing anything.  And because she was so inquistive, she also never (not ever) simply fell asleep anywhere but in our arms, and boy did we try.  So into the wrap she went.  Night sleep was going so well, so why rock the boat?

So peaceful in the sling...we spent a lot of time like that...

The wrap was a life-saver

Around 3.5 months, as Ceci got heavier and started to get more distracted by all the lights and sounds while out or in the living room during nap time, I decided it was time to establish a nice nap routine.  This was also easier since Ceci was now taking three predictable naps a day rather than just sleeping pretty much every hour.  So when nap time came we'd go up to her room, close the curtains, put on white noise, give her her paci, put her into the sling and rock her while standing in the corner (otherwise she'd be too distracted looking around the room) until she fell asleep.  Once asleep I'd sit in her room with her until she woke, generally after 1.5-2hrs.  Not quite as liberating as before, but I had books and TV shows on my phone, so all-in-all not so bad.  Again, I'd occasionally try to put her down in her crib once she was asleep but she never slept more than 20 minutes, and usually woke immediately.  She just wasn't ready.  We considered trying to make changes as the months wore on but everything else was going so well and we were travelling to the UK in October and America in November so it didn't seem prudent. And so we just went with it.

Same routine, just in her darkened room

While in America in November, when Ceci was 7 months, either Jay or I missed out on big chunks of the day when we had to nap with Ceci.  She was also becoming less and less settled during her sling naps - needing us to be standing and rocking her for a good chunk of each one.  And that was getting exhausting.  So once we were home, I decided it was time to get proactive.  But I knew Ceci well enough to know that just letting her cry or jumping straight to her crib was a recipe for disaster.  Plus, I wasn't working so I had the luxury of time at home with her to take it slow.  And so I hatched my "get Ceci to nap alone" plan.  First step, get her to fall asleep horizontally instead of vertically.  She had always fallen asleep being jounced upright in the sling, so that's where I started.  Baby steps.

In America - sling naps were numbered!

It started on December 8 (7.5 months).  We followed our same pre-nap routine, I put Ceci in the sling, but instead of standing and jouncing her I sat down in the chair in her room.  No more constant movement, but still vertical.  She wasn't too pleased about it, but didn't put up too much of a fight. When she'd start to fuss, I'd jounce her a little, but stay seated. After a couple days she was a pro at it.  So we moved on to the next step.

December 12 (7.5 months).  Pre-nap routine, into sling, mom/dad laying on bed.  So now Ceci is horizontal, but still in the comfort of the sling.  Again, it took her a little getting used to, and occasionally she'd get upset and I'd have to sit up and let her get comfortable before lying back down, but she quickly learned to fall asleep laying down.  Success!  Onward and upward!

December 24 (8 months).  Pre-nap routine, laying on mom/dad's chest, no sling.  So now, Ceci is in the exact same position but the sling is gone.  I was the most worried about this transition but she took it like a champ. We found it worked best if we pulled a blanket up over us both to make her warm and cosy like the sling had.  The first couple times we again had to occasionally "reset" - sitting up and letting her get comfortable and then laying back down - but then it was remarkably smooth sailing.  We had to hum and pat her bum or jounce her a little by moving our legs at times, but for the most part we were just her bed.

But then we stalled out.  Ceci was teething in January and just generally crankier than usual.  She had just learned to really crawl.  Naps started to become a bit of a battle at times.  So we just stayed the course with the laying-down-on-us-without-sling naps.  And I kind of really liked holding her for naps and knew once I stopped I couldn't go back.  And she was growing up so quickly and now I was the one who wasn't ready.  And then we traveled to America for the month of February, so we put a pin in it.

We spent a lot of time like this.

March 6 (10.5 months).   Ceci had started to become restless and seemingly uncomfortable at times while napping on us.  We had started to experiment occasionally with her napping next to us instead (sometimes moving her once she was asleep, other times having her fall asleep that way) and it often worked.  In March we consciously made the switch to have her fall asleep lying next to us on the bed (on her tummy, just like she was lying on us).  As always, it took a day or two for her to accept this change, but she only put up minimal fuss.  We would hum and pat her bum to help her but other than that she was on her own and once asleep she'd sleep peacefully right there next to us for a solid 1-2hrs. (We watched A LOT of TV on our phones lol). [Sidenote: at one point earlier on we did try once to move her into her crib and it was a total fail - she woke up immediately and lost it.  So we went back to baby steps.]

It started in America at my parents...

...and we kept it going at home

March 13 (10.5 month).  We decided to up our game a little.  This time we didn't change where Ceci was - still laying on her tummy on the bed - but we changed where we were.  Instead of laying down next to her we sat on the floor next to the bed.  Everything else was the same - bum pat, humming, pre-nap routine.  She barely noticed.  So close now!

Didn't even realize I wasn't there.

March 16 (10.5+ months) Considering that she hardly noticed the last change and given that I had a friend in town I wanted to actually see during the day, I took the plunge.  Pre-nap routine: check. Held for a couple minutes and rocked so she knew it was sleep time: check.  Placed in crib on her tummy with a blanket and pillow just like on the bed: check. Bum pat and humming: check.  And what do you know, she fell asleep!!  I stayed in the room for a while just to be sure and then thought what the heck and left.  And she stayed asleep!  It was like a miracle.  (And I watched her closely on the monitor because I know pillows and blankets are still a no-no at this age, but she's used to them at nap time!)

Honestly felt too good to be true

For the first week, every time we were home we followed the same routine and she took her naps in her crib, in her room, by herself.  We helped her off to sleep by patting and humming but then that was it.  It was a shockingly easy transition. (We also changed our bedtime routine to follow her nap routine so this is how she goes to sleep at night too!)

So peaceful!

However, the second week it all went a bit pear-shaped.  Suddenly, Ceci started acting like her crib was made out of burning hot lava.  Every time I tried to lay her down in there she'd go berserk. It was hard not to get frustrated and feel like all of my hard work was for naught.  I tried my best to stay consistent.  She had a really bad runny nose that turned into a cough, she started teething again, and there was a bit of separation anxiety after her first long stay at daycare, so I knew I'd also have to be flexible too.  Occasionally I had to 'reset' a few times - pick her back up to calm her down and get her relaxed and then try again.  There were even a couple times she just wasn't having it and I had to hold her until she fell asleep. But even then, once she was asleep, into the crib she went.  So even during that rough patch she still eventually took all her naps in crib.

Things have seemed to settle down now, though there are still occasional rough naps.  Some days it takes less than 5 minutes to get her to sleep and others more like 20 (usually if we're trying to put her down too early or too late for her nap) and there are still times I have to pick her back up and hold her for a little longer because she just wasn't ready, but it always ends with her napping in her crib!  Hooray!  And most of the naps are around 60-80 minutes.  Sometimes more like 30-40, but thankfully not too often. I honestly never thought this would happen. I hardly know what to do with myself (other than update the blog - the recent flurry of posts is no coincidence, lol).

Writing this all down has made me realize just what a long journey this has been.  It was long road, but looking back, I honestly don't regret any of it.  Though there were definitely days when I was exhausted or had things to do and just wanted to shower or eat or cook or clean or any other number of things that are hard to do with an awake baby, or even just be alone for a little while, those moments cuddling with my sleeping daughter were priceless.  The added bonus was that I was able to read several books and catch up on all of my favorite TV shows - I actually got relax time while she napped instead of feeling like I had to get through my To Do list.  But don't get me wrong, it wasn't all smooth sailing. There were definitely stretches of time when I felt pressure both internally and externally to get Ceci to sleep on her own - I drove myself crazy reading books on sleep (which all contradict each other by the way) and stressing about what to do.  But then I realized that she just wasn't ready and she'd only be this little once and I got a little more zen about it.  I tried to let myself enjoy the time I had with her and appreciate the fact that I had the ability to stay home with her so there wasn't a rush.  And I also tried to let myself be open to the signs that she was ready.  And now here we are - and it feels pretty good!